One of the most horrifying and potentially one of the most humiliating things (had there been someone there to witness my performance) happened to me today. When I describe my near death experience, most of you will roll your eyes and think "why is she even blogging about this?"
But all I have to say is:
BIG
SPIDER
IN
CAR
Just kidding, I have a lot to say about this... So there I am, driving my car down St. Street, minding my own business (which I'm very good at), when a big, fat, hairy, dang crap-nasty spider decided to join my little ride on the drivers side door.
Spider. Inches away. Mocking me. "What are you going to do now, you're driving?" He thinks (I'm sure of it). Let me tell you what I did. I screamed. I screamed hard and squealed and I could feel my face warp in horror as all eight of his nasty legs crept closer to me. With each minute bump in the road, the tiny monster jumped with the car. He was a jumping spider, I'm sure of it, which intensified my terror by about 10 fold. Seconds had passed, and all my frozen mind and body could do in defence was scream. I had to take action, and QUICK. It would only take an instant before he would find a reason to jump onto me!
It felt like an eternity as I cut across two lanes of traffic and clumsily parked my car in the nearest driveway.
Instead of being sensitive to the spiders sensitivity to movement, I flung the door open in haste. Bad idea, spider jumped on the seat that I somehow wasn't sitting in anymore. The only weapon of defence I had on me was my debit card. I flicked it onto the floor, and crushed the life out of him - with card (gross, I know) - because my shoe wouldn't be sufficient??
I then took a moment to breath and realized how incredibly ridiculous all the screaming had been so I started to laugh, but I was still so shaken up and my heart was still thundering that my laugh turned in to that voice-craking nervous laugh that reminds me of teenage boys for some reason. This made me laugh more and it continued for a few minutes.
That's my story. You're lucky to not have nightmares tonight.
But for reals, people. I've thought about this and I am a little disgusted at my reaction. What if there had been no way of escaping traffic? What if I caused a traffic accident? I've never really had any super traumatic spider experiences, so I can't figure out why the dorky little spider caused me so much anxiety. I won't be surprised if I wake up sore because of how tight my muscles sitffened up. And what was with the girly screaming? The last time I screamed like that I was on the Rocket at Lagoon. Wow, time to move on. Whew, how bout that.
8 comments:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good story. I probably would've done the same thing :)
Hey an emergency is an emergency. I'm sure I would've done the same thing. Maybe I would've flung my door open in the middle of traffic though, which probably would've been worse.... You did good.
That's too funny Al! Bill actually wrecked his car while a spider was on his dashboard. I think he was trying to kill it while driving.
That's good you got him. You showed that itsy bitsy spider who's boss! Especially after all he put you through. Glad you survived.
Oh! Ugh I have chills.
I HATE those pesky butthead bugs. Specially because we had this HUGE spider in a spiderweb hanging from our balcony, then Dennis knocked it down and a BLACKWIDOW took its place. Glad to hear you pummeled it out of misery. That is one less criminal we have to deal with in this world. Good for you.
Hilarious story, Al. I'm proud of you for doing the dirty work yourself, though you really didn't have much choice. Good job.
Ali I love your guts! Did you know I didn't even dare read this post because I saw that the word "spideR" was in it? Ya. freaked out Arachnophobic here! hahahaha
haha! Well I'm glad you are scared of spiders to! and that you didn't get into a wreck. but I say that that spider had no business in your car so you had the right to handle it as you did!
o i would've wrecked the car. lol. i'm impressed you had enough composure to be able to safely navigate two lanes of traffic and park before opening your door. :) seriously. I'm so bad with spiders...my little brother has this hand puppet spider he named phillip and only bought so he could torment me. Last time he was chasing me around with it for like 20 minutes...I burst into tears. lol and as I'm crying I'm laughing cause it's a freaking puppet, but I've tried to come to terms with it...can't do it. It's gross. lol :) have a beautiful day!
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